Rant, and Otakon
Jul. 20th, 2009 12:55 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
demoniaI've been gone for the majority of four days. The first thing that you tell me, when I get back, is about how someone is PMing you about applications not being read, you not knowing the password, and bringing this up because she wanted to join your roleplay. I admit I'm being snippy, but I don't appreciate it while I have to catch up on messages everywhere. I even had a status update for it, which you know how to use as well, and can see by checking buddy info.
I doubt having a mac changes that as well, when it's on basically all of the messengers. Checking buddy info, at the least, would still show it.
I wasn't about to swear at you, when the bug landed on my hand, however. Believe it or not, some people freak out from that type of thing, and don't think about where their hands hit.
Still, I told you right after that, in the four days I was gone, I've only been having gatorade, and one of my toes has been numb in a very, very, strange way, the entire time on both accounts. That should have been hint enough. This? This:
DrgnLadysupreme
It had ups, downs, and I only had gatorade the entire time. My right big toe has been with this numb feeling since Thursday. So I'm pretty exhausted.
Person
Sounds good? xD
Not funny, and not going to help. Especially when I tell you after that it wasn't, because it was worrying everyone. Trying to save grace in saying that you were starting the conversation in a 'people are crazy' sort of way doesn't click right in my head right now. Instead, it sounds like you're trying to save face for trying to get me to hurry up, so you have more people to join your RP, when I'd have probably gotten to it tomorrow.
You ask what's wrong, and jump to saying that I sound angry, when I said that I was exhausted. Not anxious, but exhausted. The fact that I apparently have to always remind you of my own issues, like low blood pressure on a normal, healthy diet, shouldn't be needed. Especially when I've always been uncomfortable with talking about my problems. All these years, you never noticed that, while I always listen to what's going on with you. Always, and even check to make sure everything is okay.
It's not like we've never met face to face. So stop treating me like the fat fuck that you can dump everything on, and not remember anything about, or really care for. That's probably not how you really think, but it's really how it feels right now. Why?
I went in to more detail in my answer, when you asked what was going on. I had to remind you that I have low blood pressure, that due to being at a convention, I've had minimal sleep. That I had ended up worried because someone disappeared, from their own family as well, without any way to contact anyone. That I was nagged at for hours, on the trip back home, while all of that had already happened.
Do not say that I'm probably anxious, and being rude. Look at how you started the conversation, and treated me as well. It wouldn't have killed you to say 'hi, how was the trip,' before starting in on your so-called 'people are crazy' subject. Because I bring this up, you have the nerve to say that I'm being rude, there's nothing you can do, and you're just going to go and wash your hands of me.
I already know that, no matter what, I would have ended up with this as a response. Maybe things will get better, but I'm not going to forget this, and it's going to stay stained on our friendship for a long time. I worried over you for bruises, pulled muscles, and your job. A toe that's numb can sometimes mean poor circulation, but when it's not the kind of 'asleep' feeling that you get in limbs, and it lasts for over four days without anything fixing it, it can be serious.
Hell, I've been scared this entire time, and lying to people in saying I'm fine over the weekend at Otakon, to avoid having them worry about me. Earlier today, I sat down in the event room, and didn't have the energy to even move. It led to my legs going numb (in the pins and needles type of way,) and me falling forward because I couldn't get the physical will to hold myself up. The entire time, telling people 'yeah, I'm fine. Just fine' when they asked if I was okay.
So, how about I try to get back to pretending I really am fine.
Otakon was alright. It had ups, it had downs, it had... Things happened. In fact, things happened before it started. I ended up forgetting about the food that I had brought along, packed, and had ready to have for the weekend. It was meant to be my meals for the entire weekend, instead of buying it, so... Kind of important. If I hadn't grabbed extra gatorade to store in the lower compartment of my bed linens luggage, I'd have had nothing but water this entire time.
While waiting for the person that managed our hotel room to arrive, I changed for the VAMPS concert and waited as long as possible. With the cell phones reacting to the hotel, which caused our conversations to constantly go in and out, everything was interpreted differently on each side. I only knew that it was the hotel, because another roommate ended up with the same issues on his phone as well. Unfortunately, as this meant over 7 hours had passed by the time I went to get my badges, I was too tired to attend the concert.
The same one that I won a ticket for, but never received an email about how to redeem the prize about, so ended up buying the ticket instead.
Friday went down with minimal hitches. Met up with old friends, made a couple of new ones, and had a lot of screaming in the LARP. There was also the fun using the popularity of 'Marco, Polo' in convention halls, and turning it in to 'Pasta, Pasta,' in reference to Axis Powers Hetalia. The only real trouble of the day was dealing with my stomach, as I was toughing through the entire 'no food' issue. Luckily, with how tight I have to cinch the kaku-obi (thanks to the way my hips are,) to avoid it slipping and falling, my stomach and top of my hips ended up a little bruised and itchy.
Saturday was a little easier, but also more hectic. A few plans made yesterday didn't actually follow through, but I was able to get away from the events room more. I don't really remember too much; I had been an idiot, and forgot to change out of the sandals, as I had more comfortable shoes in my bag. So, while a little red and sore, it was very lucky that the incident a few years back didn't occur again. I couldn't handle raw feet again. A friend who was living overseas in China, who was in the LARP, was able to hang out for a while at least. We were able to catch up, as I listened to how she was adjusting to being back in the States, and learning a little about what she was already missing there. It was later that had caused an uproar between Tina and I. Her sister, having the same name as I, had separated as planned, but never returned to the event room as planned. Now, while her sister recently turned eighteen, her mind was something... Very young, without a lot of common sense, and what you'd used to expect from a twelve year old. Her phone had been dead, and she never took her ID with her. So we spent a good portion of the late night trying to find her, including me being outside the LARP room so someone was at the meeting point, next to the rave.
Being able to feel it, for me, was not as tolerable as it usually was. I was already starting to have exhaustion catch up on me. Which wouldn't have been good, with the sketchy people that walked around the hallway. As horrible as it was, though it was already past two in the morning, I went back to the hotel I was staying in. Which was actually good for both of us, as it was connected to the convention center. So I was able to check the first two floors for her, which didn't work. Getting back to the room, almost asleep, Tina called to say that she finally found her sister. Luckily, nothing bad had happened, but the girl decided to pretend that something else had been said to go out and, despite having no means of communication, hang out with friends in some unknown location.
Sunday was... Well, today. Toe still numb, and the energy to actually get my body to move was mostly expended. Even if I wanted, it took a lot more effort than I was willing to put forth. Normally I could force this back and appear fine, but today I was swaying, stumbling over my words, and that sitting issue. I ended up having someone help pull my legs out from under me, as they've had their legs asleep up to the hips as well. So I tried resting a little more to pull the last of the stubborn streak through, which did work while at the center. Apocalypse time in the larp, I helped keep the stats known in the round, and managed to complete my character's main goal. To escape the despairs of society by killing himself. Which is essentially made impossible, by requiring a 100% success of 4 RPS throws. Because I ran under Hello Cthulu, who was a terrifying, cute, and humongous mecha-snacking hybrid between Hello Kitty and Cthulu- She with no mouth, and must scream- who had just been killed and was falling to the ground.
Because I was drunk off of Hello Kitty beer, I wasn't about to be too scared to stop myself. Everyone finished off the giant Doctor Hojo zombie, and save the world from multiple other Apocalyptic events, and then came the wrap-up meeting. So, LARP was fun, though it's had to play a teacher role when it's not as needed, or pursued by the 'student' characters. Memories were shared, hugs were given, and goodbyes that were promises for next year were made.
It was a good way to end the LARP, and I was glad to hold out until I had gotten out of the building, put my luggage in the car, and finally myself. It's just dealing with the driver, who loves to complain about the money spent (though I do pay for the expenses that I'm present for,) and that can always create bitterness. Then comes up the rant before, which happened three hours after getting home.
I think I want to sleep, wake up, and pig out on actual food. Perhaps drink something that isn't Gatorade for a while.
Edit: The rant thing? Just a one-sided thing to release some heat. It was both of us, meaning me as well, but nothing that we were both from.
I doubt having a mac changes that as well, when it's on basically all of the messengers. Checking buddy info, at the least, would still show it.
I wasn't about to swear at you, when the bug landed on my hand, however. Believe it or not, some people freak out from that type of thing, and don't think about where their hands hit.
Still, I told you right after that, in the four days I was gone, I've only been having gatorade, and one of my toes has been numb in a very, very, strange way, the entire time on both accounts. That should have been hint enough. This? This:
DrgnLadysupreme
It had ups, downs, and I only had gatorade the entire time. My right big toe has been with this numb feeling since Thursday. So I'm pretty exhausted.
Person
Sounds good? xD
Not funny, and not going to help. Especially when I tell you after that it wasn't, because it was worrying everyone. Trying to save grace in saying that you were starting the conversation in a 'people are crazy' sort of way doesn't click right in my head right now. Instead, it sounds like you're trying to save face for trying to get me to hurry up, so you have more people to join your RP, when I'd have probably gotten to it tomorrow.
You ask what's wrong, and jump to saying that I sound angry, when I said that I was exhausted. Not anxious, but exhausted. The fact that I apparently have to always remind you of my own issues, like low blood pressure on a normal, healthy diet, shouldn't be needed. Especially when I've always been uncomfortable with talking about my problems. All these years, you never noticed that, while I always listen to what's going on with you. Always, and even check to make sure everything is okay.
It's not like we've never met face to face. So stop treating me like the fat fuck that you can dump everything on, and not remember anything about, or really care for. That's probably not how you really think, but it's really how it feels right now. Why?
I went in to more detail in my answer, when you asked what was going on. I had to remind you that I have low blood pressure, that due to being at a convention, I've had minimal sleep. That I had ended up worried because someone disappeared, from their own family as well, without any way to contact anyone. That I was nagged at for hours, on the trip back home, while all of that had already happened.
Do not say that I'm probably anxious, and being rude. Look at how you started the conversation, and treated me as well. It wouldn't have killed you to say 'hi, how was the trip,' before starting in on your so-called 'people are crazy' subject. Because I bring this up, you have the nerve to say that I'm being rude, there's nothing you can do, and you're just going to go and wash your hands of me.
I already know that, no matter what, I would have ended up with this as a response. Maybe things will get better, but I'm not going to forget this, and it's going to stay stained on our friendship for a long time. I worried over you for bruises, pulled muscles, and your job. A toe that's numb can sometimes mean poor circulation, but when it's not the kind of 'asleep' feeling that you get in limbs, and it lasts for over four days without anything fixing it, it can be serious.
Hell, I've been scared this entire time, and lying to people in saying I'm fine over the weekend at Otakon, to avoid having them worry about me. Earlier today, I sat down in the event room, and didn't have the energy to even move. It led to my legs going numb (in the pins and needles type of way,) and me falling forward because I couldn't get the physical will to hold myself up. The entire time, telling people 'yeah, I'm fine. Just fine' when they asked if I was okay.
So, how about I try to get back to pretending I really am fine.
Otakon was alright. It had ups, it had downs, it had... Things happened. In fact, things happened before it started. I ended up forgetting about the food that I had brought along, packed, and had ready to have for the weekend. It was meant to be my meals for the entire weekend, instead of buying it, so... Kind of important. If I hadn't grabbed extra gatorade to store in the lower compartment of my bed linens luggage, I'd have had nothing but water this entire time.
While waiting for the person that managed our hotel room to arrive, I changed for the VAMPS concert and waited as long as possible. With the cell phones reacting to the hotel, which caused our conversations to constantly go in and out, everything was interpreted differently on each side. I only knew that it was the hotel, because another roommate ended up with the same issues on his phone as well. Unfortunately, as this meant over 7 hours had passed by the time I went to get my badges, I was too tired to attend the concert.
The same one that I won a ticket for, but never received an email about how to redeem the prize about, so ended up buying the ticket instead.
Friday went down with minimal hitches. Met up with old friends, made a couple of new ones, and had a lot of screaming in the LARP. There was also the fun using the popularity of 'Marco, Polo' in convention halls, and turning it in to 'Pasta, Pasta,' in reference to Axis Powers Hetalia. The only real trouble of the day was dealing with my stomach, as I was toughing through the entire 'no food' issue. Luckily, with how tight I have to cinch the kaku-obi (thanks to the way my hips are,) to avoid it slipping and falling, my stomach and top of my hips ended up a little bruised and itchy.
Saturday was a little easier, but also more hectic. A few plans made yesterday didn't actually follow through, but I was able to get away from the events room more. I don't really remember too much; I had been an idiot, and forgot to change out of the sandals, as I had more comfortable shoes in my bag. So, while a little red and sore, it was very lucky that the incident a few years back didn't occur again. I couldn't handle raw feet again. A friend who was living overseas in China, who was in the LARP, was able to hang out for a while at least. We were able to catch up, as I listened to how she was adjusting to being back in the States, and learning a little about what she was already missing there. It was later that had caused an uproar between Tina and I. Her sister, having the same name as I, had separated as planned, but never returned to the event room as planned. Now, while her sister recently turned eighteen, her mind was something... Very young, without a lot of common sense, and what you'd used to expect from a twelve year old. Her phone had been dead, and she never took her ID with her. So we spent a good portion of the late night trying to find her, including me being outside the LARP room so someone was at the meeting point, next to the rave.
Being able to feel it, for me, was not as tolerable as it usually was. I was already starting to have exhaustion catch up on me. Which wouldn't have been good, with the sketchy people that walked around the hallway. As horrible as it was, though it was already past two in the morning, I went back to the hotel I was staying in. Which was actually good for both of us, as it was connected to the convention center. So I was able to check the first two floors for her, which didn't work. Getting back to the room, almost asleep, Tina called to say that she finally found her sister. Luckily, nothing bad had happened, but the girl decided to pretend that something else had been said to go out and, despite having no means of communication, hang out with friends in some unknown location.
Sunday was... Well, today. Toe still numb, and the energy to actually get my body to move was mostly expended. Even if I wanted, it took a lot more effort than I was willing to put forth. Normally I could force this back and appear fine, but today I was swaying, stumbling over my words, and that sitting issue. I ended up having someone help pull my legs out from under me, as they've had their legs asleep up to the hips as well. So I tried resting a little more to pull the last of the stubborn streak through, which did work while at the center. Apocalypse time in the larp, I helped keep the stats known in the round, and managed to complete my character's main goal. To escape the despairs of society by killing himself. Which is essentially made impossible, by requiring a 100% success of 4 RPS throws. Because I ran under Hello Cthulu, who was a terrifying, cute, and humongous mecha-snacking hybrid between Hello Kitty and Cthulu- She with no mouth, and must scream- who had just been killed and was falling to the ground.
Because I was drunk off of Hello Kitty beer, I wasn't about to be too scared to stop myself. Everyone finished off the giant Doctor Hojo zombie, and save the world from multiple other Apocalyptic events, and then came the wrap-up meeting. So, LARP was fun, though it's had to play a teacher role when it's not as needed, or pursued by the 'student' characters. Memories were shared, hugs were given, and goodbyes that were promises for next year were made.
It was a good way to end the LARP, and I was glad to hold out until I had gotten out of the building, put my luggage in the car, and finally myself. It's just dealing with the driver, who loves to complain about the money spent (though I do pay for the expenses that I'm present for,) and that can always create bitterness. Then comes up the rant before, which happened three hours after getting home.
I think I want to sleep, wake up, and pig out on actual food. Perhaps drink something that isn't Gatorade for a while.
Edit: The rant thing? Just a one-sided thing to release some heat. It was both of us, meaning me as well, but nothing that we were both from.
